oh i hate the stress.... my tummy is giving me a hard time... *sighs*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KARISMA!!!

I hate this fucking game!!! I really do. I am so sick of playing. I almost feel like saying: "I want out"... I want out of this game and all games. It is just not fair anymore. I feel so frustrated! I am annoyed! I do not like feeeling like shit. Stupid PMS'ing! Stupid boys! Stupid Un-caring people! Stupid fake people! Stupid AIM!

"What the hell am I doing here, I don't belong here" Creep- Radiohead

So seriously what the hell am I doing here? I almost feel like I'm losing my mind. I feel that everything that I have worked for is losing it's meaning. That it is all Blah... I feel so BLAH!

This Headache wont go away!!! Make it go away! I Feel like I'm on a hangover, but I did not drink last night. I sat in front of my computer and stared at it like a zombie. I made a few phone calls. Only to realize that making a certian phone call was a mistake. I cried. I cried stupidly. I did not understand why I did. Or why I even bother to react over such a pathetic thing. I mean c'mon I can do better than this. I can. Yet, I cannot pull myself away from it. So, I went to bed annoyed, which meant that I was going to wake up 10 times worse this morning. I did.

And this is what you are readiing.... my current anger. Disregard all the above for I am just babbling. I will return to normalness soon ... I hope. I am just PMS'ing. The End.

I am hungry. I should eat now.

P.S I Love You May May! I understand that you could not help me last night... that is why it sucks that we both do not have cars. BOO! :(

Word of the Day for Thursday January 15, 2004

   serendipity \ser-uhn-DIP-uh-tee\, noun:
   The  faculty  or  phenomenon  of  making  fortunate accidental
   discoveries.

tergiversation \tuhr-jiv-uhr-SAY-shuhn\, noun:
   1.  The  act  of  practicing  evasion or of being deliberately
   ambiguous.
   2. The act of abandoning a party or cause.

Your first name of Marcia has given you a friendly, likeable nature, and you could excel in artistic, dramatic, and musical expression. With this name, you desire the finer things in life, but you do not always have the resolve and vitality to put forth the effort necessary to fulfil your desires. Your emotional feelings are easily affected and you will always be involved in other people's problems as a result of your overly sympathetic nature.

Youre the Spring Fairy> you are beautiful happy
cheerful, the perfect friend or soulmate.
Anyone would love to be in youre pretty Spring
fields!! Plaese vote for me as a reward for
working so hard on it!!


Which Beautiful Amy Brown Fairy Are You? (with pretty pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

OMG... life can be such freaking hell sometimes... i think im starting to believe May...

i mean... UGH! school has already satrted and i feel like its midterms or something... i'm already stressing like a mofo it is just not fair!!! mommy... i wanna hide in a cave and never come out... anyways i'm gonna attempt to do my playwriting homework.

omg.... that blastedf tooth pain has come back... im starting to feel the cheek swell again! this is not good at all!!! bOOOOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOOooooo!!!! fucking pain.


on a different note:

I love my May May and Zenaida!!! yay! you gals are the best people at UCSD... i finally found REAL friends at UCSD... i cant belive its possible! and the best part is that we are all theatre majors! so i can actaully discuss theatre things with them without having to explain too much... teehee... and yesterday was just the best!!! i wish everyday was like yesterday that would make life easier to live with. i mean gosh i cant remember when was the last time i felt that good. i mean i know that in highschool i was generally happy, but then i hit college.... UCSD (ugh!) and well it seemed that all my energy was sucked out of me like during orientation, so by the time fall quarter came around most of my "giddyness" was gone... and every year it just gets worse worse... to the point where i have found myself depressed! and its not fun to feel that the world is worthless and what not.

anways...

i am happy now... and that is what matters. lets see how long this lasts.

Word of the Day for Wednesday January 7, 2004

   variegated \VAIR-ee-uh-gay-tid\, adjective:
   1.   Having   marks   or  patches  of  different  colors;  as,
   "variegated leaves or flowers."
   2.   Varied;   distinguished   or  characterized  by  variety;
   diversified.

oy... need i say more?

the past 3 weeks have been insane. i'm tooo tired to care to write anything of any importance. although i wish i could. so much has happened and it would be nice to document it all down... but i cant. i porbably cant even remember what happned like 2 days ago. it is just the way the memory works. all i know is that i have been on major mood swings. and things like that. *sighs*

anyways... today is the first day of classes for winter quarter.... YUCKY!!! ew!!! i'm not ready for this just yet. ill babble later.